Toxic People

toxic-peopleToxic people are people who have a negative influence on your life.

Many times you aren’t aware of this because you have grown used to them over time. They are like a background noise in your life. You simply don’t notice their adverse influence.

The worst potential offenders are family members because you have so much invested in them. They are the most difficult to identify and deal with.

Sometimes your only option is to physically leave the area and break communications with them. At least for a time until you can clear your mind and regain control of your thoughts.

Toxic friends and co workers are easier to identify because you have less history with them. And for that reason they are easier to deal with as you have less invested.

The most dangerous toxic people in your life are the ones you haven’t yet identified.

The easiest toxic people to identify are the new people in your life. If you start a new job or move to a new neighborhood these people are highly visible. The danger comes if you don’t identify or deal with them in time. Otherwise they will pass un noticed and start influencing you without your being aware.

Once you identify a toxic person the best defense is to constantly be on guard and watchful of their influence. This way you can deal with it, or make plans to escape.

The most dangerous toxic people in your life are the ones you haven’t yet identified.

Is It Really Possible To Change Your Attitude?

one-way-thinkingYour attitude is so important because it literally steers your life.

But first I want to define what attitude is.

The best definition I could find is: The tendency or orientation of the mind.

It’s the cumulative result off all the experiences in your life, and how you feel about them. It’s a product of all that’s come before.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t change your attitude. Because you can. So far I’ve been talking about your default altitude or your unconscious attitude, which takes a lot of time and effort to change.

What is easy to change is your instantaneous attitude. This is something that can be controlled by just being aware of it. You can literally man handle it in any direction you want with your will.

What you want to do is to stack your attitude with favorable experiences to outweigh the bad and negative experiences in your past.

And this is useful because it can result in experiences that influence your long term unconscious attitude, which is your default attitude when you aren’t thinking about it.

The goal is to bring your default attitude in line with your instantaneous attitude.

Which is possible because recent experiences effect your attitude more than historical experiences. What you want to do is to stack your attitude with favorable experiences to outweigh the bad and negative experiences in your past.

In time your unconscious attitude will align with your more recent and favorable experiences and result in a permanent change of attitude.

How much time and effort this process takes depends on what your attitude is now, and what you want it to be.

Three Major Concepts In Life

3-fundamentalsI see 3 major concepts in life. They are progressive and build on their predecessor.

Dependent/Independent Thinking

This is the most fundamental concept. It’s the foundation that the other two are build on. It’s about whether your thoughts and assumptions are closely dependent on previous indoctrination or if you have leaned to think independently of your early experiences.

Sense of purpose

Purpose is the second deepest concept which addresses what you do with your life. It’s evidenced by your overall motivation and direction and is a result of your fundamental assumptions and outlook on life.

Your Attitude

Your altitude is the most immediate of the three and effects you the most on a daily basis.

Your altitude is the most immediate of the three and effects you the most on a daily basis. This is where we spend most of our time and life.

Your fundamental thinking about life almost never changes. Your purpose in life is subject to change by gradual evolution over time.

But your daily attitude is volatile and needs regular maintenance.

The first step of course is to be aware of your attitude. You need to monitor it to know if you’re on track or off track. Because we are so close to our attitude that sometimes we don’t see it and aren’t aware of its immediate effect on our life.

You have control of your attitude but not directly. It’s the cumulative result of experiences. It has momentum and takes time and events to change. Unless there is a dramatic event which can change it in an instant.

Your attitude is built on memories so time is a factor. The size of an event, its relative impact on your life and it’s distance in time serve to influence its effect.

If your attitude is shallow then it’s more volatile and more easily changed. If your attitude is deep and consistent then it has greater momentum and less subject to recent events.

Further Reading

What would you do if you were rich and money wasn’t an issue?

fireworksI was watching a movie a few nights ago and for some reason this thought popped into my mind. The movie was about the life and lifestyle of someone who was rich.

It got me thinking about how different my values were from that person, and about what I would do with if I were rich.

The next day I sat down and wrote out a short list of ideas on my computer.

After thinking about that list for awhile I sat down again and expanded it to make a complete story about what I would do if I were rich.

It was a great little mental exercise similar to one I wrote about earlier… What would you do differently with your life if you knew you wouldn’t fail?

This is such a good exercise because too often we get caught up in our daily routine and don’t think about the big picture. This exercise gives you a chance to bypass your short term obstacles and dream without limits.

The end result is a clearer understanding of your values and your goals.

The end result is a clearer understanding of your values and your goals.

After I wrote my story I started wondering what other people would do if they were rich. So I registered a domain name, put up a website and posted my story.

Now I’m inviting everyone to visit this new website If I Were Rich.com to read my story and post their own for others to see.

What is your story?

The submission process is completely anonymous so there is no reason to be embarrassed or lie to impress others. So go ahead and write your story. Then visit If I Were Rich.com and submit it for others to see.

Further Reading

The Timeless Quest For Meaning And Purpose

timelessI suppose it’s human nature to project ourselves into others and assume they have the same wants and needs we do.

I write about meaning and purpose because it’s important to me. And I assume it’s important to you too.

Actually there’s plenty of evidence that others are looking for meaning and purpose in their lives.

But the secular world doesn’t spend much time or effort talking about it. I suppose that’s because it’s not scientifically measurable. Or maybe the secular world feels it has too many religious connotations.

But our need for meaning and purpose is a very real issue. In fact our need for meaning and purpose is the very reason that religions have survived and grown so popular. Religion is a man made solution to satisfying our quest for meaning and purpose. The historical success of religion is prima facie evidence of mankind’s universal need for meaning and purpose.

But religions have run into their natural limits. The geographic isolation of religions used to be their strength. But now it’s a major weakness highlighted by a mobile society and the free flow of information.

We as a society have come full circle and are back to where we were thousand of years ago. With an almost universally unmet need for meaning and purpose.

This isn’t a new problem. It’s a very old problem. It’s not a religious problem. It’s a secular problem.

Society is still new at this field because we got sidetracked by religion and have grown mentally weak in the field. Secular society needs to main stream this issue in order to build a solid foundation of thinking so people will have secular models to use in their quest.

Probability Thinking

probability thinkingI used to to be fascinated by Dr. Robert Schuller’s idea of possibility thinking. That anything is possible.

But in reality that’s not how we should be structuring our lives. Instead we should focus on what’s probable because we all have limited talents and resources.

We must distill all those possibilities down to what is reasonable and practical for us.

We must distill all those possibilities down to what is reasonable and practical for us. To the things within our reach. Otherwise we’ll be living in a world of hopes and dreams instead of the real world.

It’s true that many people sell themselves short of their true potential. That’s where possibility thinking comes in because it allows you to see beyond your current circumstances.

But at some point you have to start making choices and living in the present. With what you have and what you can reasonably expect to get. This is what probability thinking is all about.