And many times their influence is so subtle that you aren’t even aware of their adverse effect on you until they’re absent.

So the first line of defense against toxic people is to become aware of them. Then you can start taking counter measures against them. Like avoiding them or other strategies to minimize their impact.

You can do this by writing nonstop for a period of time (5 to 15 minutes) ignoring all forms of spelling, grammar and sentence construction.

With a little practice you’ll be able to get right to the heart of your thoughts and spill your guts to yourself on paper. Your writing will be very fragmented and unreadable but the product of this exercise will be the thoughts that go through your head as you are writing.

This is an excellent exercise to do any time you have a decision to make or something that you need to work out in your head.

But have you noticed how easily and quickly it can be changed?

You’re going along on an otherwise usual and routine day when you receive a phone call or some piece of news and all of a sudden you’re on cloud 9 and everything is different.

What happened? Your attitude changed. A simple piece of information flipped your attitude 180 degrees in an instant. This just goes to show how superficial our attitude is.

So the question is… How can we gain control over our attitude and change it on demand rather than being at the mercy of outside events?

Young people go through a period of confusion as part of the process of growing up and finding their place in life. Some young people are lucky and never experience this period of confusion because their life comes together easily. But a short transition period of confusion in typical for most young people.

Then they get involved in their lives and are pretty well precoccupied and content because they are busy accomplishing their goals and building the life they pecieve. But after a while doubt begins to set in.

That’s where you and I are. We have either accomplished our goals and are questioning their value, or we have failed and are looking for something else.

When we experience confusion and lack of direction as adults it’s doubly painful because we see the world more clearly and have fewer illuisions. We realize our time and options are limited.

It’s a difficult process but we can retask our lives as adults and find meaning and purpose again. We just have to be deliberate in our choices and make the most of our limited resources.

In some respects finding a new direction later in life should be easier exactly because we have fewer options and illusions.

As adults we learn to put off living in the moment in favor of sacrificing and planning for the future. But when the future arrives we have long lost the capacity to live in the moment and enjoy it.

So we much reach back to our childhood in order to relearn this important skill.

When that happens a sure fire cure is to change something. The bigger the change the more contrast it will cause and the easier it will be to see your life in a new prospective.

My favorite change is travel. When you leave the comforts of home and venture into a new and uncertain world you immediately see things differently. But the same can be said for a new job or new friends or even just a new daily routine.

So if your life is boring you might try changing something to give yourself a new prospective.